By Maryam Noor
It was 9:30 a.m. London time when I clicked to join the online Fajr Sisters session. On the screen, faces appeared one by one — sisters from different corners of the world, each with their own stories, their own battles, their own longing for Allah. One spoke softly from South Africa, her voice carrying warmth across the distance. I sat with my notebook open, ready to catch the words that might stir something inside me.
There was a sacred quietness in the air. Though oceans separated us, I felt the closeness of sitting in a circle of women united by the same yearning: to connect to Allah.
The reminder given was simple, yet it opened a doorway: “It’s about connecting your heart to your Lord.”
For so many years, I believed connection with Allah was measured by doing more. More salah. More fasting. More Qur’an. And while these are essential, what I am learning — and what this morning reminded me — is that true connection is not about ticking boxes. It is about presence. It is about the heart being alive.
When we let go of ego, when we stop grasping for control, that is when Allah expands our vision. That is when we witness His openings in our lives — doors we didn’t even know were there.
Little Practices, Big Doors
The sisters shared gentle reminders:
• Read the Qur’an in English, so the heart receives Allah’s words directly.
• Write letters to Allah, pouring out what weighs on us, as a child pours out to a parent.
• Begin the morning with intention, so the heart knows its direction before the day unfolds.
These are not heavy burdens, but doorways back to presence. Small keys that unlock big doors.
The Weight of Our Voices
As reverts, many of us have lived decades in Islam. For me, it has been more than thirty-six years since I took my shahadah. In those decades, I have walked through storms — the grief of losing my brother, my mother’s struggles with mental health, the pain of abusive marriages, and the daily test of raising children while holding onto faith.
At times, I wondered if my story mattered. Did my voice carry weight? Did my experiences mean anything?
That morning I was reminded: our voices matter. Every struggle, every test, every victory is a testimony. Allah reminds us:
“So remind, for indeed the reminder benefits the believers.”
(Surah Adh-Dhāriyāt 51:55)
It is not always the grand gestures that show us Allah’s greatness. It is the little mercies. A kindness extended. A door opening at just the right time. A du’a answered quietly. Allah gives us these little things all the time. And when the heart is awake, it recognises them.
Never Alone
One sister reminded us: “We are Allah’s chosen ones, and we are never alone.”
Those words sank into me. Loneliness has often shadowed my path, but the shahadah is a bond that ties us into a global family.
But reverting also brings change. Relationships shift. Sometimes we lose love we once leaned on. I know the ache of that loss. Yet within it lies an invitation: what we cannot receive from people, we can seek with Allah — and then extend to others in new ways.
Al-Wadud, The Most Loving
My heart stirred with the ache of old wounds — times when support was absent, when silence cut deep. But I was reminded: Allah is Al-Wadud, The Most Loving. What people cannot give, He can.
I whispered a du’a in that gathering:
O Allah, close the gaps in our hearts and in our families. Bring us together in gentleness. Fill us with the love of Al-Wadud. Let us never be alone with our pain.
And then came the question that has stayed with me ever since: How does Allah perceive me?
A Morning Gift
That morning session was more than a class. It was a reminder that healing is not about fixing the past, but about being present with Allah today.
It showed me that my voice matters. That Allah’s little mercies are everywhere. That even when family ties strain, I am never truly alone.
Most of all, it left me holding a question that awakens my heart:
If I were to see myself through Allah’s eyes, what would I see?
About the Contributor:
Maryam Noor is a writer, community leader, and founder of Healing with Allah, a faith-centered framework that guides women through trauma, grief, and transformation with Qur’anic anchors, journaling, and spiritual tools. Drawing on over 36 years as a Muslim and her lived experience as a revert, mother, and survivor, she creates spaces of healing, sisterhood, and growth — from intimate circles to global initiatives like Rosebuds which she supports . Her work is dedicated to turning pain into purpose and helping women reconnect their hearts to Allah with trust, resilience, and hope.
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